Joshua Roman getting to know us

April 15 and 16 Update:

April 15 - AM visit: We are back from our first morning visit. Joshua’s still feeling under the weather, and after we expressed concern about how warm he was, they took his temp. It was 100.4. So don’t think he was quite himself. At the end of our visit, Olga told us that 3-4 other babies were sick too. Plus, he’s teething, so that could be contributing. But he was such a trooper, for having a temp he was quite pleasant and played a lot. His nickname is Roma or Romka.

But we had a nice quiet visit. We discovered that he likes it when you make your lips vibrate, so we’ve gotten some cute little facial expressions from that. He also is quite expressive with his eyebrows!

He got a little tired near the end of the visit and I (Amy) was able to rock him to sleep in my arms. He sucks his fingers. I was unable to hold back my tears. I think the little guy probably has never been rocked to sleep and I felt so lucky to be holding this beautiful boy who is starting to trust me. He fought it for a bit, but come to find out shortly later that he was due a little bottle, which is normal procedure before putting down for a nap. So I think he was looking for his bottle. One of his caregivers came in with his bottle and I gave him to her. He woke up and she gave him the bottle. He was much happier. We were told it was probably water, mixed with rose syrup. After they gave him that, we were packing up to leave, and saw they put him back in the little crib in the room, to go back to sleep. So no baby cuddling to sleep. Olga told us that they are too busy to do that with every child and they have to put themselves to sleep. So I’m thinking now that if I had had his bottle and fed him, then put him down, it all would have been perfect. We are so lucky to be in this BH. We also took a picture of his caretaker giving him his bottle. She said “he is a very good boy.”

Our afternoon visit started a little rough, as we woke Roma again from his nap in the little visiting room. They were still keeping him apart from the other group of babies. He was still feverish, and he was still a little scared by us, so there were some tears. The caregiver came in and changed him in the next room. She calmed him and told him we were his mama and papa and would be taking him home soon on a long plane ride. It was so sweet, and we really appreciate their efforts transitioning him. Overall, we had a very nice visit again, but knew he was not quite himself.

We also found out today that they shave their heads, since they can’t wash all of their heads all the time efficiently. So, that’s good to know. We thought he was just a baldy. Our neighbors across the hall said the same was true with their boy (they must start letting it grow once they are being adopted). Their son now has real hair after 3 weeks! They have court tomorrow, 4/16 and we will get to meet their son soon!

Also, we had a visit from Olga (facilitator) and Aliya (interpreter) tonight. They asked if we wanted to proceed with the adoption – and of course, we said yes! Also they reviewed some additional procedures with us (apartment can be cleaned if we had also a fan and vacuum cleaner delivered per our request.

Observations: We saw some of the older kids playing in the playground outside the BH. It’s a nice sunny day today, Sunday, things are quieter, roads not so congested. There’s a homeless man, in a wheelchair that sleeps out in the courtyard outside the apartment. Last night he slept at the entry way to our building. Saw him waking up this a.m. and going through his morning routine. My heart aches for him, and wish I could converse with him. I’m sure our coordinators would not like us to do that.

We learned that the heat gets turned off on April 16. It’s been warm in the apartment, but we keep the windows open only while we’re here.

There are lots of stray cats, too in the courtyard and landing of our apartment building. We really miss OJ, and really want to thank Dara for taking such great care of him while we’re here. Also, the church bells were ringing right at 9 am – which I love. Reminds me of living in B-more and helps remind me that this is where people and families live, to not be afraid. Life is just different than ours, but it is their life and this is the town of Joshua Roman.

What our days are like:
Each morning around 10:05am we are picked up by our driver, Vladimir. He is a solid man with a stern face and short hair, always wears dark sunglasses and is a retired Colonel from the Kazakh Army. He speaks only English niceties (Hello, good morning etc.) so are drives are always a bit quiet but not uncomfortable in the least. Despite his stern appearance he is always the most polite person. He opens our door from the inside so that it is always open when we hop in the car (a 3-4 year old white four door Toyota with manual transmission). On our way to the baby house we pick up our interpreter, Olga. She is a polite woman, about 30 years old, with 2 children aged 3 and 8. She does a fine job interpreting for us but sometimes when we ask a question we feel we may be imposing but in fact we surmised today that she is concentrating on responding with the correctly constructed sentence in English. While she is thinking about the response there is a delay and we mistook this delay of “thinking” for a delay of disregard. Today we felt we got to know her a little better and we are more comfortable with her. Having an interpreter to explain all your thoughts, questions and needs is somewhat awkward at first but we are all together for the same reason ultimately – to take care of the children. Our drive is about only 10-15 minutes in each direction to the baby house and we travel past many different sights of residential poverty to open air bazaars (markets) to retail shops and storefronts to new construction of 20 floor buildings. There are at least a dozen tower cranes we have seen dotted around the city in various phases of new building construction.
Our afternoons between visits and after visits usually consist of transferring photos from the digital camera to the laptop, checking email, posting on the blog and talking about how Joshua Roman felt today or how we truly enjoyed spending time with him or some particular action or expression he had that warmed our hearts. We watch only a little TV as CNN International, BBC World News and Animal Planet are the 3 stations we get in English. I tried watching Kazakh TV in Russian for a few minutes and found I identified only about 3 words in 15 minutes.
We go to the grocery store every couple of days and hope to go to a bazaar tomorrow. One of the main services our interpreter offers is a tour of the cultural sights of the city including museums, the Ural river, city parks with statues of famous war heroes and various points of interest. We’ll let you know what we find.

We are doing our first laundry this afternoon, after a lot of instruction from Olga (facilitator) and reading the apartment journal. We’ll see how it goes! Mind you, there is no clothes dryer. We hang the laundry in the hallway to the bathroom, and mostly on the outside terrace. I think of Eileen, and her love of the fresh smell of clothes from the line! We got dropped off at the Atrium following our afternoon visit (shopping mall-ish), and did a quick run through the grocery for some supplies and walked home. It was nice to be out and only about 10 blocks away.


April 16 (morning visit)– Happy 7 Month Birthday, Joshua Roman!

Today, we went into our morning visit hopeful that Roma’s fever was down and that we’d have a really great visit. Happy to report that your prayers and ours came true! With some trusted guidance and research from Sally (you are an angel), we went in very calm about the bonding and transitioning process, too. His temperature was normal, he seemed to recognize us, and we proceeded to have a very special visit. I’m (Amy) calling this Daddy Dave day. The boys played together and Roma was very interested in everything Dave. His watch, his arms, his nose…it was so adorable and we were very happy and relieved. We also sang Happy Birthday to him. We also met again, the caretaker Maria, who seems to be his “informal” primary caregiver. This woman exudes love for him and we are so blessed to have great interactions with her. She also reviewed some of his recent medical info with us that are logged in a journal. She told us “he’s a good boy” and is very interested in things around him, starting to crawl, rolling over (all of which we have observed).


Afternoon visit April 16:

Observations: We visited the drug store today, which also houses the “optica” - eye doctor, eye glass shopping. It was very busy, surprisingly. We picked up the ointment for our noses and will use it this afternoon before our visit. A lot of stray dogs on the streets. Buildings are kind of dreary on the outside, but inside is not bad. From 4/14 - We went to a supply store (a sort of Staples but way smaller) to pick up paper plates. This store was very modern on the inside and had virtually anything you could want for outfitting an office, or school supplies, etc. Olga (interpreter) bought a Russian Happy Birthday card for Dave, too! Our driver Vladimir gave Dave a bar of chocolates, and Olga (facilitator) was with Vladimir this a.m. to wish Dave a happy birthday. It was a very kind gesture, and we were very surprised with the chocolate and to see Olga.

What our day is like: We woke up around 8:15 (we still stay up too late). Checked email and blog (keep the posts coming!) folded laundry, did more laundry and prepared for our visit. We also have coffee, breakfast, showers etc. Shower gets nice hot water, and Dave’s Mac Guyver rigging of the shower head is working nicely so we don’t have to hold the shower hose! Thank god for Duct Tape and rope (brought with us). On Saturday, I blew a fuse drying my hair (yes fuses – no circuit breakers here- at least in this apartment building). The fuse was fixed while we were visiting in the afternoon. We brush our teeth using bottled water only. I’ve been boiling hot water for keeping the baby’s toys clean in between visits, so I do this 2x a day! We made egg salad today for lunch, using brown eggs – have no clue the expiration date (they are sold in bags and we can’t read the sticker) and it was quite tasty. We also ate yogurt – no fat-free here. Milk is sold in aseptic packaging, warm. Then you refrigerate. No fat-free, or low-fat either. But the milk is good and kind of a treat since it is so sweet tasting! We also find ourselves getting very sleepy mid-day and try to get a nap in before our afternoon with Joshua Roman. Tonight we’re having dinner with the Morrisons’ who are having court today! Celebration Time